Day 12

When I began my ministry at Kimball Avenue, I met a woman who had carried a terrible secret for more than 70 years.  She was convinced she had committed the “unpardonable sin” when she was 19 years old.  She was divorced.  Her marriage had lasted only a few months, and even her closest friends in the church never knew she had been married.  But she had sinned terribly and she was certain that God would send her to hell.    I tell the story because the church turned Jesus’ statements about divorce into a new legalism that did more violence.

Jesus’ extreme limits on divorce (Matt 5:31-32) are not intended to do violence, but to prevent violence–especially violence against women.  Only men had the legal right to initiate a divorce.  Jewish law gave men great leeway in determining just cause for divorce.  Divorce is about power.  The threat of divorce is a means of coercion and manipulation.  “Do what I tell you, or else…”  And a woman who didn’t cooperate ended up on the street without any means of support–forcing her into compromising situations.  I have often wondered how many of the “prostitutes” that Jesus ministered to were actually women who had suffered the violence of divorce and had been cast aside.

While we have “balanced” power in domestic relationships–women have the same rights of divorce as men–I believe Jesus’ statement still is relevant.  Jesus is not just talking about the legal issues around divorce.  He is addressing abuse of power and coercive use of power.  Just because we have the right to do something doesn’t automatically make it right.  Power is a dangerous thing.  Putting limits around power protects the vulnerable.