Lamach (Genesis 4:19-24) is so full of himself.  He’s the first polygamist, taking the idea of male domination to a new level.  Then, he murders a young man, justifying it by the old “he hit me first’ logic.  AND, he makes up a song about it, gloating and thumping his chest about how righteous he is, how valuable his life is and how obligated God is to protect him.  I’d call him a jerk, but name-calling is something I’m supposed to work on during this ‘fast’ from violence.  That, and I have used the ‘he hit me first’ logic when it suits me, so that would make me a jerk too.

There’s the rub: From the moment I return violence for violence, I have become what I condemn.  The only way I can truly justify my action is to believe that my rights, my feelings and my personhood reside at the center of the universe.  And if I recall, THAT is the essence of idolatry.  Bottom line, idolatry leads to all manner of violent acts against others.  Lamach is a reminder that humanity has been spiraling out of control due to being out of right relationship with God.  We need SOMEONE to intervene.  Thank God for Jesus, the One sent to stop the downward spiral and to enable us to live a new ‘life’ ethic.

Initially after reading the account of the murder of innocent Abel by his older brother Cain in Genesis 4, I was thinking about how often I misdirect my anger and hurt those who have little to do with my situation.  Cain was really angry at God for not accepting his offering, but took that anger out on his brother.  But then, WHAM!  All of a sudden, I was looking at how God reacted to Cain.  The popular notion of God is that if you do something wrong, God is going to ‘get you’.  God strikes with lightning bolts or rains down fire and brimstone.  But here is Cain, the perpetrator of a premeditated murder who you would think should ‘get what’s coming to him’ and God is gracious!  He doesn’t get the electric chair.   God announces a curse and sends Cain into exile.  Cain indeed suffers because of his action; but in the end, God actually protects and preserves his life.  God’s law is frequently invoked to support the continuation of the death penalty, but I think God’s response to Cain gives us another option–one that does not require violence in response to violence.

Today’s Scripture (Genesis 3:20) was really thought provoking.  I find it interesting that Adam’s first act after the story of ‘the Fall’ is to name Eve.  It is different from his calling her ‘woman’ prior to ‘the Fall’ (Genesis 2:22-23).  That is a response to God’s gift and is a statement of joy over receiving a complementary partner.  His naming ‘Eve’  relegates his partner to a role (mother) and is an act of power over her (determining her place in relationship to him and the rest of society).  Unfortunately, we have simply accepted male domination/female subservience as God’s will.  I believe it is the exact opposite.  It is an act of violence against his partner.  As a man, this challenges me to think of my wife (and all women) differently.  My wife is much more than ‘mother”.  Women are more than a vagina.  They are created to be equal partners. To make them less than that is to ‘live out the Fall’ and is an act of violence against them.

I clean up pretty well.  No one would think of me as a violent person.  I don’t fly off the handle; I don’t cuss at people–even when I’m driving; I don’t ‘rage’.  But…  I know what goes on in my head/heart.  Jesus’ list of defiling actions and attitudes that come from the heart (Mark 7:14-22) included things that I seldom struggle with.  However, I was not happy to see “arrogance” on the list.  I struggle with what my wife has cleverly identified as, “the Ray Way”.  I know best; I have the better ideas; my way is more efficient, more effective; my aesthetics are more refined, more creative.  (Even as I write this, I’m thinking, “I’m pretty dang eloquent!”)  I am a pompous ass.   And in my smug superiority, I dismiss, demean, belittle, berate.  I control, coerce, manipulate, violate.  I am the Pharisee that stands in judgment over the tax collector, thanking God that I’m not like him and submitting my list of spiritual and social credentials as evidence of my superiority.

On this Ash Wednesday, I confess:  O God, be merciful to me a sinner.  Create in my a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Each day during the season of Lent, (starting March 9), I plan to post a brief reflection on what I’ve learned while trying to live without violence.  This week, I attended the 2011 Congress on Urban Ministry sponsored by SCUPE.  The Congress theme was “Peacemaking in a Culture of Violence.”  It was extremely timely and very helpful in my preparation for Lent and my “fast” from violence.  What I realized is that I am often the perpetrator of violence, more often the victim of violence, but most often the unquestioning participant in a culture and system that is bent toward domination, destruction and death.  It is my goal to find the courage to question the culture and extricate myself from it’s expectations and demands while also acting in ways that bend myself toward liberation, love and life.  Honestly, I’m a bit nervous, but I am also excited to take steps on Jesus’ own radical path toward life.